a ...happy pain?

I'm in agonising pain!
Kidneys and Spine...



So much so that i feel ...happy!...

I'm guessing the endorphins must have kicked in.

How else would it be when the only news this morning
was that my swimming pass will go up by $20 to $90

Living is getting expensive, lol! but it is fair value
it keeps me ...living!

Xmas delays

Now we know why ....



Christmas deliveries do not arrive on time!...

Solstice greetings!

Solstice greetings!

We are approaching one of two points in the year
where the Sun seems to stand still on the horizon
rising from the same spot for three days in a row
before 'changing direction'.

This solstice is due to be extra special.

For one thing, by a kind of cosmic coincidence
Mars is also standing still.
That should increase the sense of 'potential for change'.

Then there's the grand finale of this year's
delightful dance between Jupiter and Neptune.
Both planets are near in the zodiac
and near, too, to Chiron, the 'healing' asteroid.

Good times await.

By Jonathan Cainer
http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/horoscopes

here...or there...or there!...

           

I have been so very busy recently
despite how i have been or been feeling healthwise
that i am thinking this little message i have at the top right corner
which says: "If you miss me i will be here"
should have a little addition to it to read...

" ...or there... or there... or there! " lol!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

sunday surprises

Sunday was a fruit market day.

Nothing much to marvel about and just the usual anxiety
to complete the shopping successfully.

On the way out, driving in a careful crawling speed
due to the small entrance and many cars coming and going
about 50m to the exit we saw what it initially
appeared to be a mad tomcat chasing a mad crow
and a mad person standing there with a big smile
trying to get a phone photo!

By the time we got closer though we realised
that the mad tomcat was not a mad tomcat at all
and it was not chasing a mad crow...

It was rather a mad crow...chasing a very cute
baby koala which was trying desperately
to climb up the branches of a tree
and the mad person was as mad as i got with delight
trying to -naturally- capture the moment.

The cutie finally managed to climb safely up
on a very low branch and then set itself watching
the photographer looking much as if it was posing
and thinking: how do i look good like this?

Of course all that was my imagination, it was probably
only wondering what was going on and possibly
a bit relieved to be saved from the crow
as now our car was only inches away
with me jumping up and down in my seat and asking Teddy
'where is your phone! where is your phone!'
Alas his phone was not there...



,

Well that was one nice surprise as i have not seen
a so young koala from so close and especially not
in our neighbourhood. I had seen one many years back
high up on a tree in a Zoo somewhere.

When we went home, Teddy went to his father
for their day out and i got on the internet
to check blogs, news etc and of course read my horoscope
which said:

Someone's kindness touches your heart today;
this is a person who is quite sensitive and caring
towards you but goes the extra mile for you today.
Show your appreciation.

I did not think there was anyone that could really go
the extra mile for me on a Sunday when everyone
was busy and no plans to meet with anyone,
but i liked it and i recorded it.

Later on when Teddy returned home he was carrying
what is usually a bag containing a bargain PC game
for his when he retires library.
I gave him a warm hug and a kiss and i said:
" Well, what have we got here?!...a new ...."
as i was searching for the words in that empty brain
he helpfully completed my sentence: '..a PC game..."
I said 'yes, thats what i was going to say.'

He then held the bag high in the air and said:
'well not this time!" and he handed it to me.

I was surprised because i had not asked him to do
any shopping for me and then even more surprised
the EXCITED kind of surprise
to see that he had bought me another book
just as i had finished the previous one!

So, that was my second delightful surprise for the day...



and the memory and pleasure will be there
for many days to come...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yesterday i was also told that Santa
has got another one coming for me
and i am supposed to forget all about it

but ...




~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

why are raincoats Yellow?

Anymore Questions ??? ...

realistic understanding?

So true
and reflects exactly how i have been feeling recenlty...

"Life has a way of testing us all.
We may feel that we have lived a long time and discovered
many answers to many questions - but, sooner or later
we will encounter an issue that baffles or bewilders us.
If we think we are strong we will discover
where we are weak. If we see ourselves as helpless
we will discover evidence that we are somehow protected.
You are no longer feeling so able to trust
what you once relied upon. Coming events, though
will bring you a greater sense of security
based on a more realistic understanding."

But what is realistic understanding?...

*********

Dracula's favourite

I am Dracula's
favourite blood bank vending machine.
just press 'any key' ...or even not
and there comes his desired daily requirement
gushing out and a lobotomy the cherry on top

I just can't reconcile and am very frustrated
with the paradox of a clearly and systematically
developing fact that in order to live
i must practically ...not live
and in order to get better
i must not try to get better with any of the things
or the ways that used to work before
because now they seem to be causing
or compounding the existing problems
so i just have to hold on to the fragile branch
of my dear life and hung out precariously
over the deep valley waiting for it to brake...

I can't see the point...


Will catch up later when feeling better.

perseverance

Gees that water was cold this morning!



But being a persistent girl as i am and for the sake
of good health you should have seen how hard
i both flogged and then drowned the proverbial horse...

Before long though i ended up feeling like a pet rock



flailing seaweed arms and legs in the air and the water
and finally got out of the water half done.
Now wouldn't a day off been preferable?
hard to say...lol! ...I had to try anyway...

Busy

I am well ......
..well sort of well and sort of not...not sure
but this does'nt really matter

I will be busy for the next few days
so......if you miss me ...
i will ......not be here!

Financial crisis measures

cut off

When no email arrives when logging on
and none for a while after
there is a distinct feeling that arises in me
similar to the first few moments when discovering
the electricity has just been cut off...



Thank goodness for the Bloggs!...

...and someone has just turned the lights on! :) :)

temporary relief

Small temporary reprieve from a very uncomfortable
situation that has heavily plagued our home recently.

Dont know how long it will last
until heads are back in hell's bucket again
but for now i am very relieved...

little beauty

My little beauty has had many unsuccessful attempts
to produce an offspring during the last couple of years.

In the first year she produced 3 long thin shoots
but they soon dried out.
She tried again the next year with another 4
but they too did not last very long.

Since moving in our new home she has been happy
on the kitchen window seal bathed by the morning sun light
and watered daily from the rinsing sink kitchen bowl
which is obviously rich in live nutrients,
so a couple of months earlier, out of no where
and in the middle of the winter she surprised me
with a nice long white flower with light purple hue
and yellow pollen on its stem



but alas nothing came out of this either.

A few weeks earlier i noticed a small rice size
green bump in between her bottom outer leaves
which developed daily imperceptibly
into something that looks like a baby's new tooth.

Now though i can see the unmistakable shape of
a miniature little beauty looking exactly like her Mum!

Oh she looks so cute, that i giggle inwardly
every time i look at her.

So far she looks very healthy and very determined
and of course she has caused her mum to lean over so much
to the side to make space for her to grow
so that one day she will look exactly like her mum
only much younger and prettier!



Soon i shall have to find her a place of her own
where she will be able to display
her pretty little self in all its glory!

Her name is Druid

trapped

Small things in life can make me happy
very happy with just very small things



but right now some very bothersome events
are eating my brain like tumors
and they are here to stay for a while...

noisily peaceful weekend

Interesting mix of weekend paradoxically noisy yet quiet
both on the inside as well as the outside.



My horoscope for 2010 ...which i do not dare read yet!...
due to that Saturn sitting in there for the past 2 and a half years and another so much more to go yet
and feeling i ve had enough of its lessons and restrictions
for a life time so far and not looking forward to anymore of it
yet curious as to what the planetary influences will be ahead.

Then a good starting to what seems to be an absorbing
romantic novel which has been recently made into a film
and promising to keep me quiet and happily interested
and immersed in it during the next few weekends.

No need to say that due to it from the time i sat down
after doing all morning house chores
our weekend was very quiet in deed...
a) because it only takes to read for 15 minutes
before i fall asleep for one full hour or more
b) because when i am asleep Teddy also goes to sleep
and c)...during those 15 mins i manage to keep my eyes open
trying to start reading again, i am quiet due to reading
as well as due to the preparation of my brain ...
to depart once more for another trip to sleepland ...



Now if one was clever ...he would never let me be without books on any weekends what-so-ever!... hint! lol!...

Prior to sitting down of course our kitchen & loungeroom area resembled a tennis court as far as sounds went.

A lot of granting and groaning on my part like a tennis player
with every little effort trying to do anything that required the tiniest effort like lifting, opening, closing of small items
or bending even slightly forward to reach an item in a cupboard etc due to the extreme heat and consequent lack of oxygen and the resulting breathing difficulty.

The beginning of Spring and Summer is always hard
but eventually comes some reasonable adaptation
until then i will be grappling with lethal exhaustion.

So, all in all ...
a strangely noisy yet very quiet peaceful weekend
on one level, yet i m guessing each of us very noisy
and actively preoccupied
in the maniac brainiac recesses of our own minds.

still here

I am still here and no lobotomy anymore
but a bit tired and introspective.

Keep looking and you will see me popping up!






Hi!

Reply to the 2 comments

Re: Please don't laugh ...its Real!

I suppose after this time passed we can all laugh ...reluctantly.

As for the spellchecker i must remember
that some words are spelled similarly
and one misspelled may be another one correct
but the difference in meaning rather lethal, lol!

Talking about worms in the brain
oh that would be way more preferable today.
I have a blinding and nauseating lobotomy
so severe that it has employed diarrhea to its aid
to make its presence more punishing than ever...



I m on Panadol and it s the second day
and tomorrow it is a Very Important weekend!
so i can see me loading more of it just before bed time.

Hope to see you nice and bright!

Please don't laugh ...its Real!

Clearing my 'Sent' email folders recently
i discovered red faced and to my utter dismay
this precious gem that bypassed
both my attention as well as the spellchecker













**********************************

weekend adventures

..........................









Quiet weekend at home as usual and better than expected.

Sunday i was accompanied to the Pool
for a surprise 'let's swim together' day.

All lanes taken on arrival and all empty when leaving, lol!
but we still managed to do a day's work.

I tried my hardest to impress him
with a near 50m non stop butterfly
but changed over to breast stroke for the last 4 strokes
so that i would not swallow a mouthful of backwater,
and to make it playfully sexy, instead of touching the wall
i gently wrapped my arms around him and whispered:

"Do you like caching ...Butterflies?"

to which he replied ...

" well that wasnt really a butterfly was it?"

I sighed and said "...yep!...sometimes its just a moth..."

Then we returned home somewhat refreshed
... just and only until breakfast,
when ...Teddy went to sleep... deep sleep
for a couple of hours and when i say a 'couple'
i will not qualify as to what i mean...

I sat next to him but so dead tired
that i could have melted easily
to a very flattish blob on the floor myself.

And that's the end of this exciting story...

Hey!...you are not allowed to yawn!... i can see you!

*************

tired

Tired and brooding all day...but still very productive.

Weekend has come around too soon this time
and i m not sure i m ready for it and what it may bring
in our supposedly but not always quiet little corner








****************

surprise

A pleasant little surprise.

I stepped on the scales this morning
and discovered a nice round extra little kilo in there!

I am now 46 kg

hopefully the beginning of recovering
some of the 7 kg i lost recently.

Daunting task at the moment
there is that much i can shove down in a day
but i will keep trying and hope to get back as close as possible









***********************

morning

Another sleepless night on the couch
less than two hours of sleep in all
and not all in one go












need to say more?...

******************

humour classics

Feeling a bit tired and introspective today
i created a humour section below
to make up for those days that i may be absent.
......................

29 Sep 09

This i changed today to a humour classics label
where i will be transfering my favourite ones
to be stored for longer time.
The daily section is at the bottom of the posts
and will be updated and deleted more frequently.

....................

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.

If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."

....................

one experience

Since i am on the subject of death
there was also a strange experience...

Something like

All the lights deeming out
...and another light lighting up...

two significant discoveries

During my latest brush with death
i had two significant discoveries.
One about myself and one about my body.

About myself i discovered that i am the kind of animal
that when Its time comes, it goes away to die alone.

(All cats during our childhood had done that!)

About my body i discovered the distinct difference
between knowing mentally that i am dying,
and that of my body actually experiencing the dying.

For the past eight years i have known i m dying
but it was only this once that i actually felt it.

Any way, not yet!......for now.......the Cat is back!...

upside down day

What an upside down day this has been all along...
nothing started straight right from the start
and it keeps going along the wrong track
how much more am i to expect yet
before the sun goes down?....

I, m guessing someone else's day went wrong too...tagged with mine?

**************

past and current glories

Today, inspired by HM's enthusiasm and effort
with her learning to swim, especially Butterfly which is highly ambitious at the initial stages, i challenged myself
to try going a full 50m length of the pool without stopping.
I did! and i was very pleased with myself.
then turned around and i managed another 50,
took a breath for my life and turned around
and did another one and then another
to a total of 200m for the day!...

I was thrilled in a way, it was just like learning,

yet sad to see how much i have lost considering that
just a short year ago i was doing effortlessly 500m daily practically without stopping, just taking a big breath after touching and then on for the next lap
and what is more ...i knew i could go on and on and on
if i desired, only time was a consideration.

Anyway, i must be grateful for what i have left and i will keep challenging myself accordingly ...health restrictions permitting and while it is summer.

Of course ...tomorrow is another day
and 50m non stop may be an unobtainable goal...

day one

Beutiful Spring like day!

It is Monday 24 Aug not Sunday 23 as the header shows.
Blogger must have gone drinking during the weekend and has its dates mixed up. I m glad it was not me this time.

**********
Oh well!...i thought it was the blogger and not me!...
but that was a short lived victory, lol!
The time setting place eluded me for a while
so just for the sake of a warp sense of fun i shall not delete
or alter the above post
but you will not catch me easily next time.

**********